Life is a Comedy. Everyone dies in the end.

You were not put on this earth to get fat, watch porn, go to work and hate your miserable life just to come home and buy low grade weed to smoke yourself out of your self imposed misery.  You were not created to waste away in insolence, ignorance, or disdain.

You were created to conquer the world and have dominion over it.  To tame the unknown and submit your authority, before God and men, show yourself as worthy of the breath you take.  There are lesser men wishing to be you.  There a greater men cut down for less.

Make every day count and count every day.  Life is like a puff of smoke and you can be gone in an instant.  I myself want to fall over dead one as a cross the finish line of an Iron man.  I don’t care when though I’d prefer to be in my 90s.

In comedies everyone one dies.  Shakespeare got that part right.  Live life, enjoy it.  In the end you will end up a sack of dust just like the hasbeen version of yourself who smokes his paycheck and lives of toxic fast food.

 

Don’t come crying to me when you fall over from a heart attack at 47.  I’ll be laughing hysterically because in the end life is for naught unless we make is worth something.

Active Restlessness: How to be productive

I still remember the days when my mother called me lazy. Lazy for not cleaning my room. Lazy for sleeping in. Lazy for not emptying the dishwasher. Lazy for not taking out the trash. Lazy for watching TV. Lazy for wanting to play video games (even though I was never allowed to own them).

Now, I’m told I’m too intense; that I have no chill. I’m told I need to sit down and relax and take in the sights and smells.  Well, they are right (whoever they are) about that on a certain level, I do eat incredibly fast out of habit.  At this point in my life is no longer have a legitimate excuse to sleep in.  When I was younger I wish I had thought of a good reason for wanting 12 hrs a night.  Now I wish I could subsist on 4 hours a day and use that time for other things. Alas, I cannot function on less than 6 a night, preferably 8-9.  I know that and aim to achieve it every night, enforcing discipline and the help of technology to maintain my sleep schedule. This discipline comes from a mindset I call Active Restlessness. It is a mental schema of never being content with where I am and what I’m doing in life and finding peace from it.

I engage a mental paradox in order to close that paradox in a feedback loop expanding into myself.

I listened to a Jordan B. Peterson podcast a few weeks ago and something he said resonated with me.  It echoes much more clearly my mindset than I’ve attempted to articulate throughout several drafts of this article.  I’m paraphrasing:

“What is good? Good is not what is good for you now.  That chocolate bar taste good and is good now.  Good is what is good for you in the future.  That chocolate bar attributes to diabetes, that isn’t good is it?  So it must not be good.

Good is not necessarily what is good for others now.  Letting your son play video games instead homework probably isn’t good though it may stop him from bothering you about wanting to play video games and you can actually get work done – which is good!

Good is what is good for you in the future and what is good for others in the future as long as it is not harmful to you now.  What that means is it is not good to sell sex for money to keep yourself and your family off the streets if it means you are at risk of sexually transmitted diseases and become emotionally damaged – which isn’t good for you in the future by the way.  That is not good!

Good is the act of putting of that good feeling now for a better and more pleasurable feeling in the future.  Don’t eat that candy bar now, delay that gratification, and you will feel good when you are comfortable in a swimsuit a few months from now.  That is good.

Delay the good now for good in the future.  This is a necessary action we’ve practiced since the dawn of time. Don’t eat these seeds now – even though we’re starving – because we need to plant them in the spring to grow crops and get more food!  That is good.”

I like the way he stated that definition of good.  I’m sure I transcribed a lot of it incorrectly, but that is the gist of his original thoughts; please find his podcast if you want to hear the whole thing.

I encourage you to take a similar mentality of Dr. Peterson’s definition of good and channel that into what I describe as Active Restlessness.  By this, you put yourself in a constant state of action by refusing to be idle.  Restlessness has an implied supposition to meaningless work.  You aren’t sure what to do with yourself so you do whatever you find to occupy your thoughts without actually doing anything.  Perhaps you get restless waiting for a flight or sitting in a doctor’s office; maybe this occurs when you get home at night in an empty house and turn to porn as an outlet for activity.

Next time you are having a long commute or sitting in traffic, turn off the radio and sit quietly with yourself.  Ask yourself what you’ve done with your life this year and how those actions so far will make next year or next decade better.  Are you working towards a goal that will increase quality of life? Have you learned something you can leverage at work or in your relationship? Can you run farther than you ran yesterday?

Identify your weaknesses then identify your goals.  Most self declared gurus will tell you to define goals first then work towards those goals.  This is the wrong mindset and perception is reality. Let me explain.

If I ever find this title I’ll update it, until then it will remain a mysterious POW book.

I read a great book years back in middle school about a pilot who got shot down in Vietnam.  He was a POW for years locked in isolation with concrete walls forming his cell.  Using a code he learned in survival school, he was able to communicate with other prisoners. It was slow and tedious but once he figured it out he could read it instinctual without his makeshift cipher. For the next few months he was kept there, often moved between cells until he discovered himself next to another POW who spoke Spanish.  He learned Spanish using a cipher.  If that doesn’t speak to the power of the human brain I don’t know what does.

As a way to stave off boredom and keep his mind sharp, he did a push up contests with fellow prisoners.  I don’t remember what he hit but it was upwards of 800 in one sitting while living off a malnourished diet.

Eventually he was transfered to a more open camp.  POWs could interact physically with each other and he still kept this push up routine.  One day a young private walked by his cell as he finished a set and said “wow, I wish I could do that!”  This pilot told him to try and see how far he got.  Kid got somewhere near 40.

“Okay,” the pilot told him, “try again but this time let me count.”

The young private hit 140 without breaking a sweat.  He freed his mind and let his body control itself.  I want you to do the same.  By telling yourself ‘I want to be able to run a 10 minute mile’ you will get there then stop.  Instead, look into yourself and think ‘I’m not a good runner, I need to become the best runner my body will allow.’   I promise you will hit sub 6 minute miles much faster than if your goal was to hit 10.

Identify your weaknesses, then set an impossible goal nested into a realistic goals.

For example, I took swim lessons for years as a kid and thought I was pretty good at it.  I decided I wanted to become a lifeguard (goal) as a first job – much better than flipping burgers.  At my mother’s urging, I went to the community pool prove to her that I could swim the test inside the time.

I was winded by the time I reached the end of 1 lap – let alone 8 (weakness).

That spring semester I scheduled a long lunch break and went to the pool every day.  My goal was to swim 8 laps in 5 minutes when I could barely swim one.  I discovered I couldn’t actually swim. I put my face in the water and stroked, but didn’t properly kick my feet or even know how to breathe without taking in water (weakness).

At this point my priorities changed.  I no longer cared about the goal of passing a test, I wanted to learn to swim!  I set a goal to be the best swimmer there was (impossible – I’m not built like Phelps).  Small goal was to swim a total of 8 laps a day, no matter how many breaks I needed.  I hit that every day, slowly trying to swim a bit farther each time.  Within a month I could beat the test.

At this point, I would have stopped and taken the test, passed, then continued with my life had I defined my goal first.  I beat the weakness enough to get where I set my sights.

Back in the water the next day I set a new goal – 20 laps.

-50 laps

-100 laps

-1 mile

-2 miles

FYI, for a standard pool, 70 laps (there and back = 2 laps) is 1 mile so I hit my 100 lap goal before I even cared enough to compute distance.  At my peak, I could swim 2 miles non-stop with no stretching.  I would stop without breathing hard.  I stopped at 2 because it was mentally draining to stare at the bottom of the pool for that long.

Identify your weaknesses, then set an impossible goal nested into a realistic goals.

I now apply this mentality to my life.  I make huge demands of myself then parse it down into smaller achievements.  The difference in my mentality is these are to plug personal weaknesses not to gain personal victories.

The first step to applying Active Restlessness is to first define your weaknesses in your life.  Then, identify your vices.  These are the things that are not good. Be it TV, masturbation, eating or even reading.  I used to read to relax and escape reality.  Now I don’t read fiction without a purpose.  All of my books have something to teach me.  My reading list has grown and so have my interests.

Go try Active Restlessness in your own life by asking yourself if what you are doing at this very moment in helping your future self or even hurting your current self.  Ask that of yourself every time you want to sit down and do something you’ve defined as not good.  When you realize you want to waste your life on something, get up and do something else.

For me, I keep a list in Evernote (including article drafts) of all the things I need to do.  Often they are 1x chores to do around the house or even recurring ones like vacuuming.  They don’t have to be big.  As Dr. Peterson likes to say, “make your bed.”  Yes, that can be on your list.  Get that as a habit and add harder things to it!

Active Restlessness might have saved my life.  It has certainly saved my boredom. I find peace knowing that I’m not wasting mine playing video games or jacking off to porn.  Everything I do has a purpose, even if it is just going out dancing and having a good time.  That is a stress relief and I have trained myself to de-stress by being active.  I can barely sit still through a 2 hour movie.

Like, share, comment on ways you can implement this in your own life.

Until next time,

-Han

Dance Game, Part 6: The Extraneous Benefits of Dancing

First off, I apologize for this article being late.  Also, I’m an idiot and forgot to hit publish on Part 5 so I’m sure there were some frustrated readers.
Back story:  I just vacated an apartment, flew across the country, drove back and then moved all my stuff into a house.  Between all that traveling, changing documents, getting a new dog, building a home gym, fixing all the new house errors, registering for classes, and still working full time… this just didn’t happen.
But I’m back on a breath of air.
For reference, read these if you haven’t already:
As the final article in the series, I want to discuss with you the extraneous effects and benefits of dancing.  Once I tell you all the positive aspects, I’ll close out the series with a few warnings. This will be short and sweet, let’s get at it!
SOCIAL SKILLS
You will be amazed at the diversity of characters you meet at any dance scene.  Dancing isn’t like most hobbies
Archery: hunters
Yoga: vegan nuts, SJWs, soccer moms
Toast Masters: businessmen
Hiking: health nuts, nature weirdos
Painting: cat ladies
Car shows: car nuts
Dancing is one of those few activities that gathers a variety of people into it
Dancers: vegans, engineers, artists, salesmen, businessmen, hunters, oil men
Runners: vegans, soccer moms, businessmen, health nuts
Meet these people and practice talking to them.  Don’t even think about sex and women and you’ll still be amazed at who you meet.  Many people travel to events. I know people in nearly every state.  I can sleep for free in at least one major city per state.  If I go to the right city in Brazil I’ll have the hook up too:P
STAMINA
Dancing is like running except you don’t die with every step.  One of the biggest differences I experienced was I could dance all night and when barely able to run a mile.  The cardiovascular is different, dancing all night won’t make you a marathon athlete, but it will give you a good sweat.  If you are like me and struggle to get cardio into your routine, a night dancing will fly by and you’ll be worn out at the end without any intermediary fatigue.
Before you ask, no.  Girls are not typically put off by your sweat as long as you take care to manage it.
CAREFUL!
Dance conventions are a gold mine of loose women.  Last one I went to I had 3 women in the same night offer sex.  This came from passive game, be careful to not run around like a horn dog.  Girls can sense desperation and beta tendencies but seem to be acutely aware of it in the dance scenes.  I think this is because there is a stigma associated with dancing for it to be borderline gay.  Many people are self conscious of being perceived as less masculine for being an accomplished dancer.  As a result of this, women intuitively know when a man is there specifically to meet women. Part of the mating process I presume.
With that said, return to the previous articles if you’ve forgotten, dance because you want to – not because you want something out of it – and your aura of game will improve intrinsically.
With that last warning, I send thee off into the realm of Men.  Conquer the land and report back the riches is has sown, thee.
-Han

Dance Game, Part 5: Active Dance Game

Last week my post got too long for a blog and turned into a full fledged peer review journal with not near enough sources.  Here is the second half.  If you haven’t read Part 4, go back and read that first.  In that article, we discussed the mass intricacies (as oxymoronic as that sounds) of how to even ask a woman to dance and finish a song without spoiling your chances as fostering attraction.  We also discussed how and when a woman is open to being attracted to you in a passive Game sense.  This article will focus on the active Game of leveraging intrinsic, passive, attraction of Part 4.
Obligatory
REJECTION
We covered rejection last week by simply telling her “okay, no problem” then ask her friend instead.  In terms of theory, this shows abundance mentality towards not approaching her because she is hot but because you want to dance.  If you feel like she might say “no” (not “no” because you’re a wuss and looking for an excuse, but “no” because of hot bitch shield) then ask her friend to dance first.  Ignore the Blonde.
Careful, if her friend says “no” then it will be hard to get her on the floor while she is being mate guarded like this.  Under such a pretense, wait and see if anyone asks either girl to dance. Don’t stare, just keep an eyeball on the table.  If either one dances your chances of a “yes” go up assuming she isn’t dancing with friends only (dance cliques covered later).
If you get rejected the proper response is not to walk away without a word down the bar to the next woman. The proper response is read of the circumstances which generally fall into one of two categories:
  1. You want to dance
  2. You want to game her
Now, given the whole point of the article is to run dance Game, we can just leave “okay, no problem” for when you are in circumstance one.  Thank her and walk away, find another girl at least 15 feet away.
For the second circumstance, you are trying to get more familiar with her and need to engage in conversation.  Most Manosphere experts don’t generally recommend self deprecating, but due to the nature of everyone being self conscious about their dancing, it works very well in this setting.  The caveat to this is to treat it like an onion: enough for flavor, but don’t overpower the dish.
Circumstance 2 breaks into two separate categorizes:
a) You know she dances
b) You don’t know
I may need to make you a freaking flow chart soon…
If she dances then she is turning you down because she sees you as a low value leader. You aren’t worth her time.  This is also true if she is involved in a dance clique and there with her friends and everyone dances with everyone in the limits of the clique.
In country bars, most men don’t let their girls dance with other men. This has not been personally experienced in other styles.
If you want this woman to dance with you, you must draw her in a competition or demonstrate yourself as a higher value male than she currently perceives you.  In effect, keep dancing, hone your skills further.
If she isn’t a dancer or a lower level than you, she may turn you down out of concern you are too good for her.  This is a great position to be in.  All you have to do is get her on the floor and show her a good time (i.e. make her feel beautiful) and it becomes very easy.  This setup of unknown is a good place to neg her and yourself.  Examples to not be repeated verbatim are:
LEVERAGE FLOOR ATTRACTION
Now that you know how to identify a woman who would be open to Game, it is time to leverage attraction – the de facto hitting on women aspect.
Kino is King.
You are hand in hand, body to body with these women.  Use it.
Implement Sticky Eyes. Pretend your eyes are “glued” to hers like taffy.  Don’t break eye contact even after she is done speaking, looking away signals disinterest. 100% eye contact is awkward so look way slowly, reluctantly.  Let that taffy stretch thin and stringy until it breaks.
For example: you haven’t seen your best friend all year because he was hunting lions in Africa and how he is telling you how he almost got eaten by a crocodile.  Your attention is rapt and suddenly someone calls your name, repeatedly.  You don’t want him to stop but this must be important seeing as you’re hosting his homecoming party in your loft.  You turn your head first, your eyes still tracking his, then reluctantly pull away (stretching the taffy) to look at the pansy complaining the ice maker is out of ice.
Do that, with her, every dance.
As you are boring your souls together, you can implement more sensuous contact.  These tactics vary based on song tempo.  For faster songs:
  • Lead body rolls
  • Roll your butt
  • Roll her butt
  • Let her play
This adds to her feeling of connection.  It makes her feel that you “get” her because most men are just selfish.  She comes first absolutely applies here.
  • Know the song, when it says something sexual, give her a chance to be sexual
Too many guys are holding her hip to hip when the song has the word “shake” in it. That isn’t fun to her.  If you aren’t fun, you aren’t attractive.  No, that doesn’t mean never dance to slow songs.  For slow songs:
  • Let her play
Same note as below except you move as if you’re in water.
  • Touch her arm
If you touch her arm when dancing fast, that is fine but it won’t do anything.  She will interpret it as a mistake on your part.  Do it too much and she will get creeped out.  On that note, there is a fine line with this when dancing with women you don’t know.  Too much and you’re done.  Not enough and no tingles.  Rule of thumb for you noobs, once every other dance or when the song calls for it.
  • Trace your finger up her side in an open closed position
You’ve seen this classic scene in Dirty Dancing  and that is exactly why it works.  Same note on creepiness as above.
HOW TO NOT LEVERAGE ATTRACTION
  • Be excessively touchy as noted above
  • looking down at your feet
  • looking down at her boobs
  • touching her boobs/butt
  • weird smiles
    • make yours soft if you feel a need, otherwise just let it come natural.  If you don’t want to smile – don’t.
  • Being excessively sweaty
    • I’ll bring 5 shirts per night at any dance convention
AVOID A REPUTATION
This is actually very very simple:  always be closing. If you flirt with everyone there is no baseline to compare against and you are naturally flirty.  NOTE: I didn’t say hit on The difference, gentlemen, is between your dial setting at 6 to 9.  Always keep your pot at warm so you can turn it up to boiling at will.
Flirt with the old women. Flirt with the fat friends.  Flirt with her.  Flirt with the bartender.  In essence, always be overly friendly (not nice).  Nice guys buy women drinks.  Friendly guys give her friends solicited advice and encouragement.
I understand the controversy many red pill guys may have with that statement.  If you take women home every night by asking to put it in her butt, then more power too you.  Dancing to myself is a social endeavor as much as a running Game.  Women innately can sense men taking dance lessons just to meet women.  It is painfully obvious, even to me.  Change your mindset to being there to learn to dance and meeting women will come as a natural progression.  Remember, your best chances of landing poon comes when you are better than her.

Dance Game, Part 4: Passive Dance Game

I’m sure anyone who has read all three previous articles is glad I’m finally getting to the point of the series: How to run Game while partner dancing.  It took a while because it was necessary to get your mental point of origin the same as mine by explaining
  1. Why the club sucks
  2. The beauty of dancing
  3. Which dance style is best for you
These are all important because if not read, you are going to call me crazy and any information following this isn’t going to make sense.  So, if you haven’t read the above, go back and revisit.
ASKING HER TO DANCE
The most gripping thing most men complain to me about is they don’t want to ask a girl to dance.  “What if she says no?” You say ‘okay, no problem’ and ask her friend – a solid 50/50 chance.  If there are more than two girls, don’t ask because the second might say yes then you’re obligated to dance with the third girl no matter how fat she is.  If the second girl says no then you must ask the third girl which points out that she is third rate and not worthy of your first approach.  It also makes you come off as desperate.
Instead, if you ask a group of girls to dance you have two options:
  1. Ask them all to dance, “would any of you lovely ladies like to dance?”
  2. Ask the one you’re interested in
    1. Walk away if rejected
    2. Dance with every girl in the group after dancing with her, starting with the fattest chick
Still on the topic of asking, let’s say you want to dance with her again. You’ve asked before and she gave good IOIs (hugged you, thanked you profusely, bought you a shot or invited you back to her table), you extracted yourself from the table and danced at least 3 songs with other women and now you want to ask her again.  Walk up and extend your hand; look into her eyes, slight half smile with arm outstretched. She will take it and enjoy every moment.
As you get more clout as a dancer (people watching you – not to be confused with seeing you), this works well on girls standing at the edge of the dance floor who you’ve never danced with.
If you are good, and you are good terms with her either as a Connection (see below) or personal friendship, you can run game with a “come hither” motion of your finger.  Lock eyes, point at her, the roll your finger like you would a dog. Obviously, if you crouch down low that is bad, but upright and bold and she’ll eat it up.
DEFLECT HER NEGATIVITY, REINFORCE YOUR SUPERIORITY
Congratulations, she said yes!  First things first: dance.  In the early stages of dancing with women you will have to rely on natural attraction to spite ineptness of your dancing.  Suck it up butter cup, put in your dues and just don’t be creepy.  Generally speaking, when dancing, nothing is her fault.  If the dance sucks that is on you.  If you want to Game women, your first priority is to show her a good time and the first priority of that is to be a competent dancer.
Cut to 3 months of studious practice: you are now marginally equivalent or better than most women.  Just enough to not be blubbering on the dance floor.  Now you can really focus on making her swoon for you.  Let’s run through a few common phrases you may here from women.  These are often when they are intimidated by your skills on the dance floor.
“Oh I can’t dance”
I couldn’t either when I started
“I have a purse”
l’ll spin you slowly
“I’m with my friends”
I’m going to dance with them too, don’t worry.
“I’m really bad”
Question. Can you count to 8?
“Yes, haha”
Then you can dance. In two step you only have to count to 3.
“I really don’t know what I’m doing…”
When in doubt. Spin.
If one of you makes an obvious mistake, blow it off.
That’s okay, nobody saw it.
ENDING ON A GOOD NOTE
When the song ends, be sure to dip her if the song calls for it.  If the end is sudden and you didn’t hear it coming, look her in the eye and tell her thank you for the dance.  If she doesn’t immediately walk away, usher her back to her seat, and if need be, take her fat friend for a dance.
As previously stated, dip her if you can and dip her low. Women love being dipped because they enjoy being manhandled and feeling beautiful at the same time.  The lower you go, the more control you show that you have as a dominance display.
Some girls will be apprehensive, typically if they are very bad dancers or overweight.  Just dip them as low as they allow you or as low as you can hold them without falling over. TIP: keep your back as straight and upright as possible.  Most instructors won’t mention this.  Don’t lean over when you dip, it pulls your center of gravity forward and you will fall over.
Once you get more comfortable with her or perhaps you want to run game while taking a dance lesson, you can wink at her.  Typically do this
  1. at the end of the song
  2. when you finish a practiced move
  3. when she rotates down the line
THE EVER ELUSIVE CONNECTION
As you become a better dancer you will gain a heightened awareness on how to read the women you are dancing with.  Their micro-expressions will become acutely aware to you.  Her body language will be read from her fingertips.  You will understand what a Connection is.
In the state of dancer Being, finding Connection is the Holy Grail.  These are the women you will ultimately be able to steal away into bed.  There are two unspoken truths about Connection that are hushed in the dance world:
  1. Connection can be one way
  2. Connection is rare, but it isn’t a unicorn
Connection can be one way as in you many love dancing with a woman and she is stone board cold on the inside behind that smile.  This is the cold hard truth but the ailment is treatable.  Often enough it means you are too rough on your lead or you have bad timing.
    Rough leads are ultimately shunned in the dance world.  These men will be so ambivalent towards how gruff they are manhandling their follow that it makes the whole experience unpleasant for her.  You may be having the time of your life, but she will tell you a flat no that next song.
    Advanced women (more likely found at a weekend event than a bar) will refuse to dance with noobs who have poor timing.  Their whole enjoyment comes from hitting the music, from being sassy to bonding to the lyrics and the flow of the music, this gets interrupted if their leader doesn’t know the difference between a 1, 4, and a 12 step.  If you don’t understand what I mean about her bonding to the music, reread Part 2.
Either way, this one sided Connection is bad.  If it happens, you will not notice it and will look like a boob as you try to run Game.  Like a virus, best action is prevention and to learn how to be a good dancer(or, at least, better than her). Until that point is reached, this is inevitable.
Conversely, if you are routinely dancing with women below your status in the dancing world as I just recommended (like everything, be top 20%), then a one way Connection from her side is possible.  This is what happened to me last year when I had 3 women in one night propositioning me. This is an ideal situation to be in as a man because she will literally be throwing herself at you.  How do you tell she felt that Connection?
  1. She asks you to dance, often.
    1. If she asks for another dance as soon as the last song ends, you’re golden.
  2. You can look at her and she runs onto the floor to you (implement the “come hither”)
  3. Her dancing is more flirtatious or sexual than typical
    1. more hip rolls or twerking
    2. leaning up against you
    3. body language indicating she wants closed position
Connection is rare, but it isn’t a unicorn. On a sample size of one, I, personally, experience a Connection with a woman about 1 out of 10 followers.  Now this may sound like a low number to you, but even are a small two step bar there are upwards of 100 women dancing.  At a weekend dance convention, try over a thousand.  1/10th of 1000 is 100 women with sex potential.  How many PUAs offer that?
So yes, the mysterious Connection is all and all hard to find, but it ins’t impossible. Add booze and late night shenanigans and flirting isn’t that hard if you are looking for a quick quality lay.
This post has gotten longer than I intended, I’m sure your attention span is waning.  I have push a lot of nitty gritty details on how to piece part flirt on the floor without developing a reputation to Part 5 as Active Game, extending the series to 6 parts.

Dance Game, Part 3: Which dance style is best for you

In Part 1 I told you why picking up women in da club is a sub-par choice
In Part 2 I explained why you should even consider taking up partner dancing
Here in Part 3 I’m going to break down different styles that I personally know or am learning.
There are an infinite number of dance styles.  These are only the ones I know.  Take this information and extrapolate to your circumstances; the true essence of learning.

LATIN MUSIC

shapeimage_1

Salsa involves a fast pace beat that is fun to dance to. Often involves a lot of dips and fast foot work.  If you love the close holds and tight footwork, this dance is for you.  If you don’t speak Spanish, you’re at a slight disadvantage.  A lot of song and dance is based on lyrics just as much as the beat.  The beat drives the footwork, the lyrics drives the Connection.  You will have a hard time making a Connection if either of you are nonnative speakers without the pure ethereal rush of a good dance that comes with both of you being exceptional dancers.
Argentine Tango is new for me but it has an element of sultriness I’ve not experienced with other styles.  Argentine Tango is a very close dance (as will all Latins) but lacks a lot of rigid structure requirements.  Instead, it relies on both of you doing your part and letting your partner do theirs.  You don’t have to be on time, your frame can be lacking, the steps all revolve around 8 beats.  With that said, it still looks darn sexy ().
If you are a new dancer, this appeals for a easy learn.  I would caution against making it your first, however, if you intend to learn more than one due to the lack of structure. By picking up a more stringent style your first learning curve will be harder but you will not have bad habits ingrained into your muscle memory thus making your second style just as hard to learn as your first.
Also, the scene is small.  It does not translate well into a lot of clubs or with women who aren’t familiar with ballroom styles as it does require her to know the dance.

COUNTRY MUSIC

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Two Step is arguably the easiest dance to learn consisting of 3 steps: left, right, left – right, left, right; 3 steps in 2 beats.  It is a safe bet that most women in any country two step bar will be able to do it (even when drunk).  If you posses the ability to do anything fancy then your social status rises quickly.
I absolutely recommend trying two step as a first dance. It is low pressure to learn, and comes with a low expectation.  Many women will tolerate a much stronger grip and looser frame than any other dance I know.  The bar is that low.
There are numerous variations to this style so make sure you watch a few songs to discover how everyone is doing it at your scene.  There is no “best” way, but there are preferences.  My recommendation is learn what you prefer as a leader, and know how to lead a follow comfortable in any variation.  This takes practice.  Once it takes root, you can make even a choppy style incredible beautiful if you have Connection.  This couple has Connection.
Ballroom is the technically competent version of two step.  It requires a better concentration of the beat and an attention to the rolling step associated with a country ballroom song.
You can pick this up in a lesson or two and it will give you a level up on dancing skills at any bar.  If you can do it well, women are impressed and it gets you top 20% by default.  Do it well and you are in top 5%.
NOTE: This is not a Latin Ballroom or Vietnamese Waltz which is years of study.
Downside: I, personally, find it boring and don’t dance it much.

SWING MUSIC

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Lindy Hop is the old person’s dance everyone thinks about when they hear the phrase “swing dancing”.  It is technical and has an emphasis on a weighted connection (leaning back, counter balancing with your partner).  Most of the women here are old souls or very very hipster. There really is no in between. Jean skirts Church girl or blue hair pixie cut Bernie supporter.
This is a very technical dance as stated previously.  The music is very fast paced and has lots of aerial lifts.  You should be in good aerobic exercise to dance this competently.
I don’t recommend this scene to pick up women, though some may find it very enjoyable.  I got my introduction in Lindy but quickly transitioned away from it as I matured.  If you love the musicality, clothes, and dance style, go get ’em, Tiger.
East Coast Swing is the white man’s version of Lindy Hop.  ECS originated as a way for whites to dance to black music and it has stayed as a simplified version of Lindy Hop.  This dance is very bouncy and circular to the center of mass of the partnership.  It features less lifts and focuses on footwork compared to Lindy Hop.
Most Hoppers also do ECS and vice versa.  Same rules apply.
West Coast Swing is the modern, pop version of east coast swing.  Linear instead of circular, smoother and flat like ballroom instead of bouncy east coast.  This is a very scaleable dance.  You can learn it in an hour and never master it after a decade.
My personal favorite, Westies are borderline alcoholics and very free spirited.  Many tend to be Left leaning but most take care of themselves and aren’t too crazy.  Learn this dance if you want to make dancing a lifestyle or a major hobby.  You won’t be picking women up after a weekend (try 6 months) but once you become comfortable with your personal flair, it is like shooting fish in a barrel.  One dance congress I went to I had 3 women offer to sleep with me in one night.  I’m technically a novice but I own my flair and project a confidence into my style.
Zouk is the red headed step child of the Latin world and the Swing world.  Zouk combines the latin flair and music but adds a pop zest to the song.  This is a very popular vain in WCS that is growing every year.  Many who dance Salsa or Bachata will also dance Zouk as well.
Zouk is very sexy to watch, most women are too.  are attractive as well.  I have discovered it isn’t trivial to learn and the scene is still small though growing.  If you find a zouk scene consider yourself lucky and I wholly recommend taking advantage of it.  You will be ahead of the curve once it catches up.
There are hundreds of dance styles.  The ones above are outlined due to personal experience.  Break dancing is a thing as is dubstep, but I would argue they aren’t partner based and disqualified from a kino discussion to implement game.
Part 4 will address how to implement actual Game into your dancing without getting kicked out of the community.

Dance Game, Part 2: The beauty of partner dancing

    Let’s cut the crap. You know it. I know it. There are times when you wish you could dance.  You wish you were Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Chest busting out of your shirt, hair back, that sweaty, sexual aura that drives girls wild permeates around you.  That isn’t water on the dance floor.
    But you have 2 left feet and people might laugh at you so you just stand on the sidelines and watch that pretty girl dance the night away with me.
    So what.  I couldn’t dance either my first time.  To be honest, I’d even let you dance with my girl. Why? Because it isn’t sexual.
    So now you’re thinking, “wait, if it isn’t sexual then why am I even partner dancing when I could have a girl doing sexual things to me while we dance.  You are learning to partner dance because the club is a terrible place to meet women.
    When you truly dance with a woman, you enter the same emotional state.  You pair bond to the music over each beat and verse.  Your touch conveys the emotion you feel from the song and transmit that to her.  This is why “Thinking Out Loud” was the most played wedding song in 2016 .  It evokes a loving emotion between both of you.
    In the dancing world this is referred to as Connection.  To help you get an idea of Connection, rewatch that above Dirty Dancy video. Patrick Swayze is a stud.  At the 1 minute mark his buddy mentions they aren’t even a couple.  You’d think so by the way they are dancing because they have Connection.  It is a revered state of synergy every woman seeks.  This is the “swept off her feet” feeling of butterflies and rainbows that gives dancing the effeminate stereotype.  Invoke this feeling and she will see you as anything but effeminate.
    Where does this Connection come from? Let’s break it down.
    All partner dances involve a form of contra body.  This is the frame the leader. Everything she does as the follower rests on your frame.  The best follows are so in tune to your frame that the smallest movements of your body will manipulate her entire body.  This movement is typically lead from your hands and wrists, based off your body frame centered in your chest.
    You follow looks at your overall posture and matches it.  She then feels the weight and touch of your hands and how you marry her to the music.  In a closed position you are hip to hip in an intimate hold.  All dances start this way as the music tempo builds the story.  When that tempo gets intimate, the leader can choose to return to the position, otherwise it is spent in open position twirling her around, making her feel pretty.
    NOTE: when you are in closed, your hand placement varies on style, but it is never on her lower back/butt.  It is not just bad form (she can’t feel the connection) but bad taste (you remove the emotional aspect of the dance, killing attraction).
    Dancing is not nearly as hard as one would typically think.  If you can count to 8 and stand of your own volition, you can dance.
    “I have no rhythm.” Yeah I didn’t either when I first started. You learn it.
    “I have a disability.” I know a guy who is 4 feet tall with muscular distortions in his legs.  He dances just fine. I also know two deaf men who dance.  Stop making excuses.
    “I’m fat.” Uh huh.  Sure. 
    The fact of the matter is you can be a pro or an amateur because the Layman can’t tell the difference.  What the cute girl sees is the contra body and frame you maintain as you dance with her girlfriend.  She sees the confidence that comes with it and develops that desire from it.
    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had women come up to me asking me to dance because they say me on the floor. I left the bar once because two girls were just tag teaming me one after the other – and neither were attractive. The got selfish and lost out.
    Often, if I’m with my girl, this is less pronounced but it still happens.  If you dance with one girl a lot make sure to not stand too close once you’re done, otherwise assumptions are made.
    Skill is a huge factor in developing long range attraction.  Effort correlates to reward.  This effort doesn’t mean just ignore all other aspects of game; it only enhances it.  Last October I was dancing in Chicago and got propositioned 3 times in one evening.  In that setting, I was an average dancer, but my frame and how I carried my body took that attraction to the next level.
    Dancing is inherently masculine.  She is, by nature of dance, submitting to you as a follow to her leader.  Regardless of her political or feminist leanings, she is placing herself into a mental state physically and emotionally to allow you to control her.  This surrender of power is the means by with you run effective Game and flirt with her without her even realizing you’re being flirtatious.  In that setting she feels nothing but butterflies because you put them there.
    How do you do this? You pick a style(s) and learn to tailor sexuality into it.  Make your flair sexy without being sexual and picking up women almost happens on it’s own.
    In Part 3 I’ll go into which style of dance is best for you and your goals