Let’s cut the crap. You know it. I know it. There are times when you wish you could dance. You wish you were Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Chest busting out of your shirt, hair back, that sweaty, sexual aura that drives girls wild permeates around you. That isn’t water on the dance floor.
But you have 2 left feet and people might laugh at you so you just stand on the sidelines and watch that pretty girl dance the night away with me.
So what. I couldn’t dance either my first time. To be honest, I’d even let you dance with my girl. Why? Because it isn’t sexual.
So now you’re thinking, “wait, if it isn’t sexual then why am I even partner dancing when I could have a girl doing sexual things to me while we dance. You are learning to partner dance because the club is a terrible place to meet women.
When you truly dance with a woman, you enter the same emotional state. You pair bond to the music over each beat and verse. Your touch conveys the emotion you feel from the song and transmit that to her. This is why “Thinking Out Loud” was the most played wedding song in 2016 . It evokes a loving emotion between both of you.
In the dancing world this is referred to as Connection. To help you get an idea of Connection, rewatch that above Dirty Dancy video. Patrick Swayze is a stud. At the 1 minute mark his buddy mentions they aren’t even a couple. You’d think so by the way they are dancing because they have Connection. It is a revered state of synergy every woman seeks. This is the “swept off her feet” feeling of butterflies and rainbows that gives dancing the effeminate stereotype. Invoke this feeling and she will see you as anything but effeminate.
Where does this Connection come from? Let’s break it down.
All partner dances involve a form of contra body. This is the frame the leader. Everything she does as the follower rests on your frame. The best follows are so in tune to your frame that the smallest movements of your body will manipulate her entire body. This movement is typically lead from your hands and wrists, based off your body frame centered in your chest.
You follow looks at your overall posture and matches it. She then feels the weight and touch of your hands and how you marry her to the music. In a closed position you are hip to hip in an intimate hold. All dances start this way as the music tempo builds the story. When that tempo gets intimate, the leader can choose to return to the position, otherwise it is spent in open position twirling her around, making her feel pretty.
NOTE: when you are in closed, your hand placement varies on style, but it is never on her lower back/butt. It is not just bad form (she can’t feel the connection) but bad taste (you remove the emotional aspect of the dance, killing attraction).
Dancing is not nearly as hard as one would typically think. If you can count to 8 and stand of your own volition, you can dance.
“I have no rhythm.” Yeah I didn’t either when I first started. You learn it.
“I have a disability.” I know a guy who is 4 feet tall with muscular distortions in his legs. He dances just fine. I also know two deaf men who dance. Stop making excuses.
“I’m fat.” Uh huh. Sure.
The fact of the matter is you can be a pro or an amateur because the Layman can’t tell the difference. What the cute girl sees is the contra body and frame you maintain as you dance with her girlfriend. She sees the confidence that comes with it and develops that desire from it.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had women come up to me asking me to dance because they say me on the floor. I left the bar once because two girls were just tag teaming me one after the other – and neither were attractive. The got selfish and lost out.
Often, if I’m with my girl, this is less pronounced but it still happens. If you dance with one girl a lot make sure to not stand too close once you’re done, otherwise assumptions are made.
Skill is a huge factor in developing long range attraction. Effort correlates to reward. This effort doesn’t mean just ignore all other aspects of game; it only enhances it. Last October I was dancing in Chicago and got propositioned 3 times in one evening. In that setting, I was an average dancer, but my frame and how I carried my body took that attraction to the next level.
Dancing is inherently masculine. She is, by nature of dance, submitting to you as a follow to her leader. Regardless of her political or feminist leanings, she is placing herself into a mental state physically and emotionally to allow you to control her. This surrender of power is the means by with you run effective Game and flirt with her without her even realizing you’re being flirtatious. In that setting she feels nothing but butterflies because you put them there.
How do you do this? You pick a style(s) and learn to tailor sexuality into it. Make your flair sexy without being sexual and picking up women almost happens on it’s own.
In Part 3 I’ll go into which style of dance is best for you and your goals