Dance Game, Part 6: The Extraneous Benefits of Dancing

First off, I apologize for this article being late.  Also, I’m an idiot and forgot to hit publish on Part 5 so I’m sure there were some frustrated readers.
Back story:  I just vacated an apartment, flew across the country, drove back and then moved all my stuff into a house.  Between all that traveling, changing documents, getting a new dog, building a home gym, fixing all the new house errors, registering for classes, and still working full time… this just didn’t happen.
But I’m back on a breath of air.
For reference, read these if you haven’t already:
As the final article in the series, I want to discuss with you the extraneous effects and benefits of dancing.  Once I tell you all the positive aspects, I’ll close out the series with a few warnings. This will be short and sweet, let’s get at it!
SOCIAL SKILLS
You will be amazed at the diversity of characters you meet at any dance scene.  Dancing isn’t like most hobbies
Archery: hunters
Yoga: vegan nuts, SJWs, soccer moms
Toast Masters: businessmen
Hiking: health nuts, nature weirdos
Painting: cat ladies
Car shows: car nuts
Dancing is one of those few activities that gathers a variety of people into it
Dancers: vegans, engineers, artists, salesmen, businessmen, hunters, oil men
Runners: vegans, soccer moms, businessmen, health nuts
Meet these people and practice talking to them.  Don’t even think about sex and women and you’ll still be amazed at who you meet.  Many people travel to events. I know people in nearly every state.  I can sleep for free in at least one major city per state.  If I go to the right city in Brazil I’ll have the hook up too:P
STAMINA
Dancing is like running except you don’t die with every step.  One of the biggest differences I experienced was I could dance all night and when barely able to run a mile.  The cardiovascular is different, dancing all night won’t make you a marathon athlete, but it will give you a good sweat.  If you are like me and struggle to get cardio into your routine, a night dancing will fly by and you’ll be worn out at the end without any intermediary fatigue.
Before you ask, no.  Girls are not typically put off by your sweat as long as you take care to manage it.
CAREFUL!
Dance conventions are a gold mine of loose women.  Last one I went to I had 3 women in the same night offer sex.  This came from passive game, be careful to not run around like a horn dog.  Girls can sense desperation and beta tendencies but seem to be acutely aware of it in the dance scenes.  I think this is because there is a stigma associated with dancing for it to be borderline gay.  Many people are self conscious of being perceived as less masculine for being an accomplished dancer.  As a result of this, women intuitively know when a man is there specifically to meet women. Part of the mating process I presume.
With that said, return to the previous articles if you’ve forgotten, dance because you want to – not because you want something out of it – and your aura of game will improve intrinsically.
With that last warning, I send thee off into the realm of Men.  Conquer the land and report back the riches is has sown, thee.
-Han

Dance Game, Part 5: Active Dance Game

Last week my post got too long for a blog and turned into a full fledged peer review journal with not near enough sources.  Here is the second half.  If you haven’t read Part 4, go back and read that first.  In that article, we discussed the mass intricacies (as oxymoronic as that sounds) of how to even ask a woman to dance and finish a song without spoiling your chances as fostering attraction.  We also discussed how and when a woman is open to being attracted to you in a passive Game sense.  This article will focus on the active Game of leveraging intrinsic, passive, attraction of Part 4.
Obligatory
REJECTION
We covered rejection last week by simply telling her “okay, no problem” then ask her friend instead.  In terms of theory, this shows abundance mentality towards not approaching her because she is hot but because you want to dance.  If you feel like she might say “no” (not “no” because you’re a wuss and looking for an excuse, but “no” because of hot bitch shield) then ask her friend to dance first.  Ignore the Blonde.
Careful, if her friend says “no” then it will be hard to get her on the floor while she is being mate guarded like this.  Under such a pretense, wait and see if anyone asks either girl to dance. Don’t stare, just keep an eyeball on the table.  If either one dances your chances of a “yes” go up assuming she isn’t dancing with friends only (dance cliques covered later).
If you get rejected the proper response is not to walk away without a word down the bar to the next woman. The proper response is read of the circumstances which generally fall into one of two categories:
  1. You want to dance
  2. You want to game her
Now, given the whole point of the article is to run dance Game, we can just leave “okay, no problem” for when you are in circumstance one.  Thank her and walk away, find another girl at least 15 feet away.
For the second circumstance, you are trying to get more familiar with her and need to engage in conversation.  Most Manosphere experts don’t generally recommend self deprecating, but due to the nature of everyone being self conscious about their dancing, it works very well in this setting.  The caveat to this is to treat it like an onion: enough for flavor, but don’t overpower the dish.
Circumstance 2 breaks into two separate categorizes:
a) You know she dances
b) You don’t know
I may need to make you a freaking flow chart soon…
If she dances then she is turning you down because she sees you as a low value leader. You aren’t worth her time.  This is also true if she is involved in a dance clique and there with her friends and everyone dances with everyone in the limits of the clique.
In country bars, most men don’t let their girls dance with other men. This has not been personally experienced in other styles.
If you want this woman to dance with you, you must draw her in a competition or demonstrate yourself as a higher value male than she currently perceives you.  In effect, keep dancing, hone your skills further.
If she isn’t a dancer or a lower level than you, she may turn you down out of concern you are too good for her.  This is a great position to be in.  All you have to do is get her on the floor and show her a good time (i.e. make her feel beautiful) and it becomes very easy.  This setup of unknown is a good place to neg her and yourself.  Examples to not be repeated verbatim are:
LEVERAGE FLOOR ATTRACTION
Now that you know how to identify a woman who would be open to Game, it is time to leverage attraction – the de facto hitting on women aspect.
Kino is King.
You are hand in hand, body to body with these women.  Use it.
Implement Sticky Eyes. Pretend your eyes are “glued” to hers like taffy.  Don’t break eye contact even after she is done speaking, looking away signals disinterest. 100% eye contact is awkward so look way slowly, reluctantly.  Let that taffy stretch thin and stringy until it breaks.
For example: you haven’t seen your best friend all year because he was hunting lions in Africa and how he is telling you how he almost got eaten by a crocodile.  Your attention is rapt and suddenly someone calls your name, repeatedly.  You don’t want him to stop but this must be important seeing as you’re hosting his homecoming party in your loft.  You turn your head first, your eyes still tracking his, then reluctantly pull away (stretching the taffy) to look at the pansy complaining the ice maker is out of ice.
Do that, with her, every dance.
As you are boring your souls together, you can implement more sensuous contact.  These tactics vary based on song tempo.  For faster songs:
  • Lead body rolls
  • Roll your butt
  • Roll her butt
  • Let her play
This adds to her feeling of connection.  It makes her feel that you “get” her because most men are just selfish.  She comes first absolutely applies here.
  • Know the song, when it says something sexual, give her a chance to be sexual
Too many guys are holding her hip to hip when the song has the word “shake” in it. That isn’t fun to her.  If you aren’t fun, you aren’t attractive.  No, that doesn’t mean never dance to slow songs.  For slow songs:
  • Let her play
Same note as below except you move as if you’re in water.
  • Touch her arm
If you touch her arm when dancing fast, that is fine but it won’t do anything.  She will interpret it as a mistake on your part.  Do it too much and she will get creeped out.  On that note, there is a fine line with this when dancing with women you don’t know.  Too much and you’re done.  Not enough and no tingles.  Rule of thumb for you noobs, once every other dance or when the song calls for it.
  • Trace your finger up her side in an open closed position
You’ve seen this classic scene in Dirty Dancing  and that is exactly why it works.  Same note on creepiness as above.
HOW TO NOT LEVERAGE ATTRACTION
  • Be excessively touchy as noted above
  • looking down at your feet
  • looking down at her boobs
  • touching her boobs/butt
  • weird smiles
    • make yours soft if you feel a need, otherwise just let it come natural.  If you don’t want to smile – don’t.
  • Being excessively sweaty
    • I’ll bring 5 shirts per night at any dance convention
AVOID A REPUTATION
This is actually very very simple:  always be closing. If you flirt with everyone there is no baseline to compare against and you are naturally flirty.  NOTE: I didn’t say hit on The difference, gentlemen, is between your dial setting at 6 to 9.  Always keep your pot at warm so you can turn it up to boiling at will.
Flirt with the old women. Flirt with the fat friends.  Flirt with her.  Flirt with the bartender.  In essence, always be overly friendly (not nice).  Nice guys buy women drinks.  Friendly guys give her friends solicited advice and encouragement.
I understand the controversy many red pill guys may have with that statement.  If you take women home every night by asking to put it in her butt, then more power too you.  Dancing to myself is a social endeavor as much as a running Game.  Women innately can sense men taking dance lessons just to meet women.  It is painfully obvious, even to me.  Change your mindset to being there to learn to dance and meeting women will come as a natural progression.  Remember, your best chances of landing poon comes when you are better than her.

Dance Game, Part 4: Passive Dance Game

I’m sure anyone who has read all three previous articles is glad I’m finally getting to the point of the series: How to run Game while partner dancing.  It took a while because it was necessary to get your mental point of origin the same as mine by explaining
  1. Why the club sucks
  2. The beauty of dancing
  3. Which dance style is best for you
These are all important because if not read, you are going to call me crazy and any information following this isn’t going to make sense.  So, if you haven’t read the above, go back and revisit.
ASKING HER TO DANCE
The most gripping thing most men complain to me about is they don’t want to ask a girl to dance.  “What if she says no?” You say ‘okay, no problem’ and ask her friend – a solid 50/50 chance.  If there are more than two girls, don’t ask because the second might say yes then you’re obligated to dance with the third girl no matter how fat she is.  If the second girl says no then you must ask the third girl which points out that she is third rate and not worthy of your first approach.  It also makes you come off as desperate.
Instead, if you ask a group of girls to dance you have two options:
  1. Ask them all to dance, “would any of you lovely ladies like to dance?”
  2. Ask the one you’re interested in
    1. Walk away if rejected
    2. Dance with every girl in the group after dancing with her, starting with the fattest chick
Still on the topic of asking, let’s say you want to dance with her again. You’ve asked before and she gave good IOIs (hugged you, thanked you profusely, bought you a shot or invited you back to her table), you extracted yourself from the table and danced at least 3 songs with other women and now you want to ask her again.  Walk up and extend your hand; look into her eyes, slight half smile with arm outstretched. She will take it and enjoy every moment.
As you get more clout as a dancer (people watching you – not to be confused with seeing you), this works well on girls standing at the edge of the dance floor who you’ve never danced with.
If you are good, and you are good terms with her either as a Connection (see below) or personal friendship, you can run game with a “come hither” motion of your finger.  Lock eyes, point at her, the roll your finger like you would a dog. Obviously, if you crouch down low that is bad, but upright and bold and she’ll eat it up.
DEFLECT HER NEGATIVITY, REINFORCE YOUR SUPERIORITY
Congratulations, she said yes!  First things first: dance.  In the early stages of dancing with women you will have to rely on natural attraction to spite ineptness of your dancing.  Suck it up butter cup, put in your dues and just don’t be creepy.  Generally speaking, when dancing, nothing is her fault.  If the dance sucks that is on you.  If you want to Game women, your first priority is to show her a good time and the first priority of that is to be a competent dancer.
Cut to 3 months of studious practice: you are now marginally equivalent or better than most women.  Just enough to not be blubbering on the dance floor.  Now you can really focus on making her swoon for you.  Let’s run through a few common phrases you may here from women.  These are often when they are intimidated by your skills on the dance floor.
“Oh I can’t dance”
I couldn’t either when I started
“I have a purse”
l’ll spin you slowly
“I’m with my friends”
I’m going to dance with them too, don’t worry.
“I’m really bad”
Question. Can you count to 8?
“Yes, haha”
Then you can dance. In two step you only have to count to 3.
“I really don’t know what I’m doing…”
When in doubt. Spin.
If one of you makes an obvious mistake, blow it off.
That’s okay, nobody saw it.
ENDING ON A GOOD NOTE
When the song ends, be sure to dip her if the song calls for it.  If the end is sudden and you didn’t hear it coming, look her in the eye and tell her thank you for the dance.  If she doesn’t immediately walk away, usher her back to her seat, and if need be, take her fat friend for a dance.
As previously stated, dip her if you can and dip her low. Women love being dipped because they enjoy being manhandled and feeling beautiful at the same time.  The lower you go, the more control you show that you have as a dominance display.
Some girls will be apprehensive, typically if they are very bad dancers or overweight.  Just dip them as low as they allow you or as low as you can hold them without falling over. TIP: keep your back as straight and upright as possible.  Most instructors won’t mention this.  Don’t lean over when you dip, it pulls your center of gravity forward and you will fall over.
Once you get more comfortable with her or perhaps you want to run game while taking a dance lesson, you can wink at her.  Typically do this
  1. at the end of the song
  2. when you finish a practiced move
  3. when she rotates down the line
THE EVER ELUSIVE CONNECTION
As you become a better dancer you will gain a heightened awareness on how to read the women you are dancing with.  Their micro-expressions will become acutely aware to you.  Her body language will be read from her fingertips.  You will understand what a Connection is.
In the state of dancer Being, finding Connection is the Holy Grail.  These are the women you will ultimately be able to steal away into bed.  There are two unspoken truths about Connection that are hushed in the dance world:
  1. Connection can be one way
  2. Connection is rare, but it isn’t a unicorn
Connection can be one way as in you many love dancing with a woman and she is stone board cold on the inside behind that smile.  This is the cold hard truth but the ailment is treatable.  Often enough it means you are too rough on your lead or you have bad timing.
    Rough leads are ultimately shunned in the dance world.  These men will be so ambivalent towards how gruff they are manhandling their follow that it makes the whole experience unpleasant for her.  You may be having the time of your life, but she will tell you a flat no that next song.
    Advanced women (more likely found at a weekend event than a bar) will refuse to dance with noobs who have poor timing.  Their whole enjoyment comes from hitting the music, from being sassy to bonding to the lyrics and the flow of the music, this gets interrupted if their leader doesn’t know the difference between a 1, 4, and a 12 step.  If you don’t understand what I mean about her bonding to the music, reread Part 2.
Either way, this one sided Connection is bad.  If it happens, you will not notice it and will look like a boob as you try to run Game.  Like a virus, best action is prevention and to learn how to be a good dancer(or, at least, better than her). Until that point is reached, this is inevitable.
Conversely, if you are routinely dancing with women below your status in the dancing world as I just recommended (like everything, be top 20%), then a one way Connection from her side is possible.  This is what happened to me last year when I had 3 women in one night propositioning me. This is an ideal situation to be in as a man because she will literally be throwing herself at you.  How do you tell she felt that Connection?
  1. She asks you to dance, often.
    1. If she asks for another dance as soon as the last song ends, you’re golden.
  2. You can look at her and she runs onto the floor to you (implement the “come hither”)
  3. Her dancing is more flirtatious or sexual than typical
    1. more hip rolls or twerking
    2. leaning up against you
    3. body language indicating she wants closed position
Connection is rare, but it isn’t a unicorn. On a sample size of one, I, personally, experience a Connection with a woman about 1 out of 10 followers.  Now this may sound like a low number to you, but even are a small two step bar there are upwards of 100 women dancing.  At a weekend dance convention, try over a thousand.  1/10th of 1000 is 100 women with sex potential.  How many PUAs offer that?
So yes, the mysterious Connection is all and all hard to find, but it ins’t impossible. Add booze and late night shenanigans and flirting isn’t that hard if you are looking for a quick quality lay.
This post has gotten longer than I intended, I’m sure your attention span is waning.  I have push a lot of nitty gritty details on how to piece part flirt on the floor without developing a reputation to Part 5 as Active Game, extending the series to 6 parts.

Dance Game, Part 2: The beauty of partner dancing

    Let’s cut the crap. You know it. I know it. There are times when you wish you could dance.  You wish you were Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Chest busting out of your shirt, hair back, that sweaty, sexual aura that drives girls wild permeates around you.  That isn’t water on the dance floor.
    But you have 2 left feet and people might laugh at you so you just stand on the sidelines and watch that pretty girl dance the night away with me.
    So what.  I couldn’t dance either my first time.  To be honest, I’d even let you dance with my girl. Why? Because it isn’t sexual.
    So now you’re thinking, “wait, if it isn’t sexual then why am I even partner dancing when I could have a girl doing sexual things to me while we dance.  You are learning to partner dance because the club is a terrible place to meet women.
    When you truly dance with a woman, you enter the same emotional state.  You pair bond to the music over each beat and verse.  Your touch conveys the emotion you feel from the song and transmit that to her.  This is why “Thinking Out Loud” was the most played wedding song in 2016 .  It evokes a loving emotion between both of you.
    In the dancing world this is referred to as Connection.  To help you get an idea of Connection, rewatch that above Dirty Dancy video. Patrick Swayze is a stud.  At the 1 minute mark his buddy mentions they aren’t even a couple.  You’d think so by the way they are dancing because they have Connection.  It is a revered state of synergy every woman seeks.  This is the “swept off her feet” feeling of butterflies and rainbows that gives dancing the effeminate stereotype.  Invoke this feeling and she will see you as anything but effeminate.
    Where does this Connection come from? Let’s break it down.
    All partner dances involve a form of contra body.  This is the frame the leader. Everything she does as the follower rests on your frame.  The best follows are so in tune to your frame that the smallest movements of your body will manipulate her entire body.  This movement is typically lead from your hands and wrists, based off your body frame centered in your chest.
    You follow looks at your overall posture and matches it.  She then feels the weight and touch of your hands and how you marry her to the music.  In a closed position you are hip to hip in an intimate hold.  All dances start this way as the music tempo builds the story.  When that tempo gets intimate, the leader can choose to return to the position, otherwise it is spent in open position twirling her around, making her feel pretty.
    NOTE: when you are in closed, your hand placement varies on style, but it is never on her lower back/butt.  It is not just bad form (she can’t feel the connection) but bad taste (you remove the emotional aspect of the dance, killing attraction).
    Dancing is not nearly as hard as one would typically think.  If you can count to 8 and stand of your own volition, you can dance.
    “I have no rhythm.” Yeah I didn’t either when I first started. You learn it.
    “I have a disability.” I know a guy who is 4 feet tall with muscular distortions in his legs.  He dances just fine. I also know two deaf men who dance.  Stop making excuses.
    “I’m fat.” Uh huh.  Sure. 
    The fact of the matter is you can be a pro or an amateur because the Layman can’t tell the difference.  What the cute girl sees is the contra body and frame you maintain as you dance with her girlfriend.  She sees the confidence that comes with it and develops that desire from it.
    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had women come up to me asking me to dance because they say me on the floor. I left the bar once because two girls were just tag teaming me one after the other – and neither were attractive. The got selfish and lost out.
    Often, if I’m with my girl, this is less pronounced but it still happens.  If you dance with one girl a lot make sure to not stand too close once you’re done, otherwise assumptions are made.
    Skill is a huge factor in developing long range attraction.  Effort correlates to reward.  This effort doesn’t mean just ignore all other aspects of game; it only enhances it.  Last October I was dancing in Chicago and got propositioned 3 times in one evening.  In that setting, I was an average dancer, but my frame and how I carried my body took that attraction to the next level.
    Dancing is inherently masculine.  She is, by nature of dance, submitting to you as a follow to her leader.  Regardless of her political or feminist leanings, she is placing herself into a mental state physically and emotionally to allow you to control her.  This surrender of power is the means by with you run effective Game and flirt with her without her even realizing you’re being flirtatious.  In that setting she feels nothing but butterflies because you put them there.
    How do you do this? You pick a style(s) and learn to tailor sexuality into it.  Make your flair sexy without being sexual and picking up women almost happens on it’s own.
    In Part 3 I’ll go into which style of dance is best for you and your goals

Dance Game, Part 1: Why the club is a terrible place to meet women

The club is a terrible place to meet women.  There, I said it.  If you want to just pump and dump with risk of venerable disease, be my guest, even blind mice find cheese every once in a while.

 

    In this part 1 of the dance game series, I’m presenting an argument that meeting women in the club for long term relationships – plate or LTR – is not advisable. Let’s start with the obvious: partner dancing is not clubbing, clubbing is not partner dancing. The entire premise of this Dance Game series will be based on partner dancing and I hope to convince you why.  Step one is to convince you the opposite is counter productive, or, at least, not productive.
    In order to do this, let’s set the club scene typical to most men.  You are not going to be the G in the VIP zone with the bottle service and bodyguards.  Let’s face it, if you were that rich you’d just use hookers and be done with it. In reality, best case scenario is fit, nice clothes, handsome with social proof.  When you walk into any nightclub, the bouncer probably doesn’t know you. You pay the sex tax cover charge and cram for a beer soaked table in view of the amateur stripper poles.
    The club is dark and loud with strobe lights flashing.  You can barely tell if the girl twerking against you has a tramp stamp or a whale tale or if you’re about to black out from the $100 worth of alcohol you just bought for yourself and her (how else did you expect a strange woman to be dry riding your dick?).
    Your mind, assaulted by the lights and music, struggles to focus on this goddess you managed to woo. Your eyes focus and you see the black blur is a tramp stamp. Upon further excruciating inspection you discover this woman is 25 lbs. overweight, her belly hanging out from her crop top as her friends shout encouragement to her.
    She spins around, her vodka cranberry spilling onto your shirt. You can smell the alcohol on her breath. Glancing down, she sports a breast cancer tattoo on breast.  You catch her as she stumbles into your arms, her friends laugh hysterically. You get her upright and the hot one comes over and rushes her away.
    Empty handed, you buy a new drink and go back to the floor.  You bounce between groups and try to find one to fit in. You tire and go back to find a table.  You brood for a while, trying the Dark Triad vibe.  No dice.
    It’s 3 am and you pay out.  $126 plus tip.  Wandering back, drunk and stumbling, you bump into a cute woman.  After a brief conversation you both decide drunk tacos sounds nice and wander off together.  30 minutes later you’re getting a blow job by this woman you don’t know.  You turn her over and masturbate with her pussy.  You fall asleep.
    Later that morning you struggle to wake.  You barely remember anything, let alone the name of the ham next to you.  Easily 40 lbs over weight, you recoil in horror.  The smell of her snatch permeates the room.  You can’t find the condom. Sneaking out, you run to the clinic for tests and necessary shots.
    Congratulations, sir. You got laid for 140 bucks and narrowly missed the clap.
    Alternatively, you pay out you $126 and go home to your right hand.
    TL;DR: you spend a lot of time, money, and effort in the attempt to get your dick wet on activities that are risky, limited in scope, and not conducive to friendships; not to mention the low quality fruit.

Effort correlates to reward.  

    Grinding isn’t hard. Flailing around looking like an idiot isn’t hard.  How many times do you watch people dance in the club and go “wow! that is really neat!”.  My sample size of n=1 is about once every 100 times.
    How many times do you watch a girl dance in a club and go “wow! she is really hot!”.  My sample size of n=1 is about 25 times every night.
    Notice those are mutually exclusive.  Hot girls don’t have to dance well.  Beef jerky is thrown at cows, image being actually desirable.
    Backing up, put yourself back in the club where you were probably this past weekend and find that hot girl.  Who is she with?  Dollars to donuts she is either:
  1. with friends
  2. with an attractive guy
The fix is simple:
Step 1: be fit and attractive.
Step 2: be attractive to her.
andi-rieger-578190-unsplash
    The crux of this entire argument is the realization that you are dancing to be attractive to her.  You flail around like an idiot because that is what everyone else is doing and you are measuring dicks to them.  Spoiler: you’re average or sub par just like those guys in the above picture.
    Get a proverbial penis stretcher and learn to dance.  The confidence and internal frame of knowing  you are the best dancer in the room is an instant advantage.
    We all know some size queens girls who filter men by height, length, and girth.  Same goes for dancing.  Get good enough, and your physical appearance is secondary to your ability to make her swoon.  More on this in Part 2.
    You stand there like a sack of meat and let a fat girl twerk against you for the Gram but that does not correlate to you getting laid.  Every woman twerks and they do it indiscriminately.  You can be the most AFC Soyboi in the club sporting weak legs, shorts, and flip flops and she’ll still twerk on you – for validation from her friends.
    Ditch the system. Swim against the current to fertile waters. Take the hard road for long term rewards.  Be sexy and know it.
    In Part 2 I’ll address the inverse of this argument on why you should even make the effort to learn to dance.